Freedom is the American way

Posting ID : A1068517097
Date Posted : 2015-08-19
Category : Wanted By Owner

Man, I had no idea you could just ask for handouts here. All this time, I've been toiling away at a desk, saving money, setting budgets and goals, and working for the things I need.

SO I'm on , looking for something to BUY, when I came across no fewer than 10 unabashed requests for stuff. Then it hit me, right in the forehead: what a chump I've been! I too can receive the largess of strangers. Pride is for rich people!

In the vein of so many other posts I've seen of late, here goes: give me your free stuff. Especially money. I would love all your free money. Do you have a gigantic and fully functioning television? Give it to me! For free! A car that you're not using, basically new and in great shape, worth a lot of money? I'll take it. Jewels you feel like giving away? Gold? Pirate doubloons? You guessed it. I'll take them. Blueberry pie? You keep that. Apple pie I'll take. And chickens, size 11 Rockports (new of course) and new Apple gear, like the Apple watch. Or Apple stock from the 90s. Ethan Allen furniture! Stained glass lamps! I'll "take it off your hands" and "give it a new home."

My freeloading brethren, I join your ranks!

Let the stuff commence!


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