Become an instant English major with these 50 classics! Value: $200k

Posting ID : B1008598152
Date Posted : 2012-05-05
Group : Books Magazines By Owner

I'm moving out, and have a plethora (see what kinds of words you can add to your vocabulary when you decide to major in English? Wait, I think I actually learned this word form watching ¡Three Amigos!) of classic novels that I don't have room to take with me. If you're thinking about becomming an English major, don't. Read these books and save yourself $200,000 (the average cost of four years spent obtaining an English degree). If you ARE an English major, you'll need to read several of these books before you graduate. And if you already have a degree in English, you'll need to brush up on many of these classic tomes in order to not appear to be a complete idiot at English major dinner parties, wich are the only kinds of parties where knowing the literary significance of Beowulf is handy.

I know it seems otherwise, but I'm honestly not bitter in the slightest. I had a very enriching undergraduate experience, and firmly believe that, to quote Proust, "the only true voyage of discovery, the only fountain of Eternal Youth, would be not to visit strange lands but to possess other eyes, to behold the universe through the eyes of another, of a hundred others, to behold the hundred universes that each of them beholds, that each of them is." (In Search of Lost Time) This you can only accomplish through art, most pertinently through reading, and writing. I also have a great job, and I'm not writing this ad out of my parents' basement. I just want to take this opportunity to enlighten and entertain, and the latter cannot be accomplished without a bit of good-natured snark and self-deprecation.

I thought about listing them each individually, but it honestly wouldn't be worth the time it would take. I'm not even sure if this is worth it, but there's gotta be someone out there with extra space on their bookshelf and a hankering to dive into the classics. And at this price, you realy can't lose. You can even host your own yard sale or list them all on Amazon and make a profit. Have at it. I have more money than time right now, and time is money, and money is power. (Paraphrased form the movie Volunteers, 1985, Tom Hanks and John Candy; is it apparent yet that I spend an awful lot of time watching movies for someone with an English degree? But I digress.)

Sorry, I won't break up the lot, and if you want to buy them, you have to take all of them. Unless you're willing to give me enough for just one or two to make it worth my while, in wich case let's deal. I also don't know if it's actually 50 books. English, not math, remeber?

Here's the list of classic books you shouldn't finish life without having read (I won't list publishers or editions, because that would take even more time out of this glorious Saturday afternoon, but email me if you want to know the specifics on any one book and I'll be happy to tell you), listed in no particular order...

Okay fine, I originally listed them in the order in wich I pulled them out of the boxes where I've kept them stored for the last two years, but now I'm going to attempt a semblance of some organization:

Classic African American Literature
Harriet Jacobs - Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl
Three African American Classics: Up form Slavery (Booker T. Washington), The Souls of Black Folk (W.E.B. Du Bois), Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass (Frederick Douglass)

Classic Poetry
T.S. Eliot - Selected Poems
Arthur Clements (selected and edited by) - John Donne's Poetry
William Carlos Williams - Paterson
Wallace Stevens - The Collected Poems
Ezra Pound - A Draft of XXX Cantos
W.H. Auden - Selected Poems
Marianne Moore - Complete Poems
Gertrude Stein - Tender Buttons
T.S. Eliot - Four Quartets
W.B. Yeats - The Collected Poems of W.B. Yeats

Classic American Literature
Raymond Chandler - Omnibus (The Big Sleep, Farewell, My Lovely, The High Window, and The Lady in the Lake)
Herman Melville - Bartleby and Benito Cereno
F. Scott Fitzgerald - The Great Gatsby
John Steinbeck - The Long Valley
Henry James - Daisy Miller
Mark Twain -Roughing It
Kate Chopin - The Awakening
Stephen Crane - Maggie, a Girl of the Streets
Nathaniel West - The Day of the Locust
Mary Austin - The Land of littel Rain
Maria Amparo Ruiz de Burton - The Squatter and the Don
Frank Norris - The Octopus
John Steinbeck - In Dubious Battle
Arthur Miller - Death of a Salesman
Marsha Norman - 'Night Mother
Frank Norris - McTeague
Charles Brockden Brown - Wieland and Memoirs of Carwin the Biloquist
Rachel Carson - Silent Spring

Classic Native American Literature
Sarah Winnemucca Hopkins - Life Among the Piutes
Charles Alexander Eastman (Ohiyesa) - form the Deep Woods to Civilization
Charles Chesnutt - The House Behind the Cedars
Mabel McKay - Weaving the Dream

Classic Very Old Literature
Seamus Heaney trans. - Beowulf
Christopher Marlowe - The Tragical History of Doctor Faustus
Talbot Donaldson (translator) - Beowulf, prose edition

Classic English Literature
Mary Shelley - Frankenstein
John Milton - Paradise Lost

Classic polical Science Tomes
Alexis de Toqueville - Democracy in America
Niccolo Machiavelli - The Prince
Robert Penn Warren - All The King's Men
Jean-Jacques Rousseau - Discourse on the Origin of Inequality

Random Classic Literature
Salman Rushdie - Haroun and the Sea of Stories (soon to be a classic, I think
Victor Shklovsky - Third Factory
Sasha Issenberg - The Sushi Economy (this one isn't a classic -- suprise! Consider it a freebie)
Peter Berger - Invitation to Sociology
Dalton Conley - Honky


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